We all have grown up and how? We have kids now and do we ever criticise them? If we do, we need to know why we do and what are our insecurities which we impose on them?
For eg. If you were always criticised for being uncouth, we would teach our children to be well mannered, would we? If we didnt get the education we think we should have had, thereby limiting our carreer growth, we will push our children to strive harder than usual. Are we being harsh on them?
Now, how did our parents criticise us, what was their red buttons which got pushed for us to deserve some harsh words?
Growing up for me was a bit weird, I had only one authority figure (single parent issues), thats my father, the rest just didnt size up. I have never ever received any criticism from my father. He only used to say you need to become a engineer. I guess he thought since he was one, and that had helped him acheive remarkable success meant, education or engineering was the key to secure financial future. He never probed on what kind of character I should develop or imposed on what kind of person I should be, he didnt judge me morally at all. He was rather uncomfortable or just didn't have a time (after a 16 hour workday) in correcting my moral or ethical outlook or intellectual perspective.
All the other elders or relatively less important authorative figures gave me this statement ” Manu is a very quiet child” I took this as a compliment and became more & more quiet, i would rarely speak in front of elders. But now in restrospect I realise this was actually a criticism, it was a way of these authority figures to keep me in my place, because if i spoke up, i would be difficult and embarassing to handle. So i guess the authority figures thought I was kind off weird.
I think one of the reason for my writing and ranting on this blog, is my rebellion 30 years later against these authority figures, telling them, i can speak for myself and people do like to read it, yeah maybe 6 people read my blogpost. But I am punishinig these authority figures for shutting me down and risking being called a weirdo by making a fool of myself by washing dirty laundry in public.
Thats enough instrospection for today. With all due respect to elders!