18th feb 1999.
It was a busy working day for me, I had my usual day at the factory, there was no reason I should be more tired than usual. This was not the usual tiredness of the body, it was tiredness of a different kind, a gloomy kind of tiredness where you want to pull up the blankets and go to sleep for 20 hours, its the kind of tiredness you feel before the onset of a severe sickness. Your body is fighting the sickness before you even know about it or is preparing you for a calamity?
I tell my companion, Iam tired, very tired and I would like to retire, we both retire early, much earlier than our usual time, maybe I had passed on the tiredness to my pregnant companion? The phone starts ringing maybe around 1.30 am. I hear the voice of my brother in law “Daddy is no more”. The mind cannot believe it, how can it be possible, but the body knew about it, before hand.
I am feeling the same kind of tiredness today, the kind I felt that day. It a scary feeling, I start counting the people I love in this world who are still alive, including myself.