Tag Archives: friendship

The Mind tries to find patterns – A Story about childhood friendship.

Have you said to yourself “Man why does this happen to me all the time?”. Have you observed, how many close calls you had in life, I mean I could have been dead when I was eight years old. I had set up this lab on the balcony of my house, and I was at least getting one electric shock every day trying to become the next Einstein.

Yes, my childhood dream was to become a scientist, but my Dad thought I should become an Engineer and manage his business. So I did become an Engineer.

A couple of weeks back I was missing an old childhood friend Rajesh of mine, I mean we grew up like brothers, but then we lost touch, and a few days later I found Rajesh sitting at the table across me and sipping his coffee. We both recognised each other, but we didn’t talk.

I realised we weren’t kids now, I found him grumpy and felt it isn’t worth working on the old relationships now. Yes, you might say, “how cruel?”. Yes, I feel sometimes, I don’t have a heart, the cold-blooded way in which I manage to conduct myself.

But then again after a few days I meet another Rajesh, who tries to help me with some important work. Here my mind, starts talking to myself “ Woh, God compensated me with another Rajesh”

But hope you are getting the drift, all these coincidences happening to me, I am building a pattern, I am linking the first event “My remembering of my childhood friend” to the other 2 events.

I know, we all love connecting the dots…

But stop there, just don’t connect the dots and let it be! Trust me; you will save yourself a lot of bothers.




deborahsk0 / Pixabay

My childhood best friend

Ok, when i mean childhood, I mean Jr. College cause i was stupid till very late in life. 

Anyway lets get to the story! 

I have one friend who I can say is my childhood best friend. He is someone I meet now once in 2 years or 3 years. We have nothing in common now. My world is different, even back then we had not much in common. Still we managed to connect and stay in touch over this long period of time. 

Sometimes I am ashamed of him, he is a bit unsophisticated, not open to new experiences. It is not that Iam very sophisticated or something (but I think I might be a closet hipster)  But sometimes he completely surprises me with his wisdom. He will just say one sentence and get me rooted to the ground. 

I am not really emotional about my childhood friend, I think I have a more of a intellectual curiosity about us. I probably meet him once in a few years just to hear that one piece of wisdom which knocks me down or brings me down to mother earth. 

I wish it was a emotional bond, but its not. Its just the thrill of comparison which drives my friendship towards him and then after a pretty mundane evening hearing all the mundane stuff, he throws one piece of gem from his experiences of life.

Maybe its because of his upbringing, I am from a broken family, and he is from a huge joint family. Sometimes in life its the differences in each other which brings us together than similarities. 

He is also at the end of the day, someone who has stood by me and holds very high moral standards. I do respect him as a person. 

The Friendship Ritual

Just liking someone is not enough to become friends, one needs to establish some kind of ritual where you can hang out together. Over the years I have seen and been part of many rituals. For example when in school, I wanted to be cool like the repeaters of my class, though I never failed a year, I use to always sit on the last bench and hang out with the repeaters. In college, I would like to hang out with guys who started smoking and drinking early.  

Then after I got in to Salsa, I had my Salsa friends who I could hang out and dance. Then there are friends who you would like to watch a movie or music concert. So as you grow up, the ritual change and so do the friends. Friends, who were active part of your life, can take a back seat, just because you no longer are in to the common ritual. 

Some interest remains constant like music, art, reading, so any friendship which evolves around these hobbies, will remain forever.

It makes one sad, about so many people you really liked but you could never become good friends, because of a lack of a common ritual.