Tag Archives: love

Review of Cobalt Blue by Sachin Kundalkar translated by Jerry Pinto

This is the first gay love story I have read. This translation of the Marathi book by Sachin Kundalkar by Jerry Pinto was highly recommended by one of the book clubs I had been too.

I was curious how a Marathi author would be talking about a taboo subject like gay love. I tried to write about gay love, but I just froze. I couldn’t write, it was block.

Sorry about the digression. Cobalt Blue is one of the most beautiful love stories one can read. If your child asks too many question about LGBT and stuff and you freeze, this is the book to give the child.

LGBT iS such a buzz word nowadays. But we really don’t know what is gay love. This book is the most sensitive portrayal of gay love. If you are a person who easily cries, than this book will make you cry a lot. I didn’t cry, but it can take you there.

The sex scenes are not there if you think it would be crude, a couple of intimate scenes are beautifully described. I am in complete awe of Sachin Kundalkar for writing such a brilliant story. What is more commendable is that the author was 22 when he wrote this book.

The book is a short read. So go ahead pick this up. If you are disappointed I will refund you.

Amazon link https://www.amazon.in/Cobalt-Blue-Sachin-Kundalkar-ebook/dp/B06XYPMZJ3?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1&portal-device-attributes=tablet&ref_=dp-kindle-redirect

Death of a Romantic Fantasy – Part 1.

Sometimes writing flows from you, and at times like these, you have to force yourself to write, not that I hate writing, but the idea is half baked and you are sure it would make a stupid blog post.

I haven’t been able to sleep,  I am sure insomniacs write a lot. so I figured the best thing would be to kill my romantic fantasy. Let me give it a shot.

Romance is the first harbinger of love, its the petrichor fragrance from the damp earth you smell when its going to rain love. But then rain is unpredictable, so is love. All you get is a few droplets.

You are left thinking whether you actually saw the right signs, what went wrong, what was the faux paus in your entire line of feelings and intuitions?

So now lets shoot the messenger because the message he got us was wrongly interpreted by us. Lets shift the blame on the messenger, but here the messenger was your own instinct , your own intuition. How many times has it mislead you, still you trust it like a beacon in the ocean of mystery.

If romance is not followed up by love, what was it that transpired, why do we crave for complete experiences? Why are we already prefixed with the idea of and ideal love? Our human conditioning’s are designed to trouble us,  pain us and result in agonizing sufferings.

Somewhere though we want to get rid of this conditioning, it wont let us get rid of it. Its like we need gravity on this earth to survive, pain and sufferings seem such ubiquitous part of our DNA.

I guess, I am just reasoning out and don’t have the means to end this romantic fantasy. I am the creator of this fantasy and how is that I cannot destroy it? why and when did it spiral out and take energies of its own?

Unsuccessful Attempt – wait for part 2 of this blog post. 

The 3 kinds of love deals

The 1st deal –

If you love someone and the other doesn’t love you, you are bound to compromise, on everything and anything and make it work. Right?

The 2nd deal – 

If the other person loves you and you dont, than she/he would go to all extents to compromise, and make the relationship work out. 

Now which sound like a better deal?

The 3rd deal –

When both are equally in love with each other, now how will you know if they aren’t lying to make it work? The person lying might be in the relationship just because it is convenient, just because of habit. 

I am skeptical, is there anything like equal love? wouldnt it be lovers utopia. 

 

My love is

My love is silence,
it is deeply meditative.
It is 100% giving.
You can see it my eyes,
you can also feel it when I smile. I wish it was the “screaming for attention” kind of love, maybe then
we could have hit the right notes.

if I inked your name on my skin, will you appreciate
or cut my nerves to write your name on the wall. Should we paint the city red in my car?

I am figuring how to turn this “silent love” in to a “screaming love”
so you can feel loved.
I will serenade you with a song and Our love will have all the bling
of our current times.

Love is

Someone you could touch
Someone you could call yours
Someone you could trust
Someone who would look at you lovingly

Someone you could spend your money on
Someone you could write about
Someone you remember
Someone you miss
Someone who you cannot forget

Someone who you can see a future with
Someone who you want to see a movie with
Someone you want to dance with. Someone you are grateful too
Someone you never question or doubt
Someone who cooks for you
Someone who shops for you

Someone who has integrity
Someone you look upto
Someone you can see for what they are and value them
Someone who you are going to lose one day to death or someone else. Let’s love..

Missing people

There are few people who have gone missing,
I miss, missing people. I love, missing people.
Can I love someone without missing them?

I look for them everywhere
I look at a car and peek inside to find them missing,
I try to find them at places where they were last seen with me
The places never go missing, only people are missing,
Every thing looks hazy, but the missing is getting dense and awkward.

I have to find them ASAP. I cannot just make people go missing so conveniently.
I cannot be so evil, as to make so many people disappear!
I see myself in the mirror and I see the “good me” also “gone missing”. People are energies, and somehow my energies are making these people go missing.
So ultimately it seems that a part of me has made these people go
missing, and a another part of me is missing them.

These 2 opposite energies are tearing and ripping me apart, For what
purpose? for what higher goals? So I would like to believe
conveniently. So I can sleep in peace!

Extra-marital affair

Haven’t been writing any romance on my blog lately. So here is another
corny romantic poem. I am the king of corn! 😛

You are hot
But your husband is short
Use his money, take my love
And let all your blues disappear .
I have no right to dream about you
Sinse you are not mine
But I don’t know how to stop these recurring day dreams of you and me.

We are soul mates don’t you see?
I understand your quest for outward journey, but for the inner journey
it is going to be only me! I am your best friend’s husband and you say it won’t do.
But has anyone made you feel better than I do?

Listen to your heart, We have known each other from years ago,
And if you need to tell me something, you just need to raise a brow. Hope we never meet and our love dies in our hearts.
But who knows in the end, God’s will might still survive!

Her picture

As she enters his house, she secretly scans his house for her picture,
she thinks if he loves me, he surely must have a picture of me, in his
house, maybe by the bedside or on his work table? There were none. He is not the one who hangs living people on the
wall. The only reason he has his kids pictures framed is because some
else gifted the frames and even put in their pictures for him.

He thinks keeping pictures of people on the wall or in the wallet is
so much a 70’s thing, he is a modern man. He likes abstract art on the
wall, but the art should connect some thing within him. He wonders if she a 70’s women, flower power and women’s liberation?
He loves the flower power music, those were the best music to come out
before the music got corrupted by over consumption.

But, but, but, how can he fall for a flower power girl in 2010? Impossible!!!!! Maybe see her again after 40 years, or travel back in time, so he can
keep her picture by the bedside.

Some thoughts

Okay, Im consumed by work nowadays and maintaining a personal blog has become really taxing, so from now on I will have generic topic as blog post. Anyway no one reads my blog 🙁
But I plan to update my blog more often, maybe daily or at least twice a week.
I believe love is transient, as soon as you start building dreams over it, it vanishes, like sand out of a closed fist. So intellectually I have come to the conclusion if you ever fall in love with someone, be happy that you could find someone to love, irrespective of the person loving you back. I highly recommend that one should love your phone, computer, books, dogs and not get involved with any person, people have free will. Gadgets and pets they will do as you wish. So what do you think?? 
Now again I was just imagining myself to be a very powerful person the other day and I wondered if I can handle power. The last time I had been in such a position, I had become a monster, I thought I was God, spoke rudely to people abused my employees. Criticized everyone around and never came close to real Happiness. Will this time be different?? or will power corrupt my soul absolutely.

The Bedroom

The curtains have changed colors

blue brown black

The lights are always dim

Mirrors always reflects the  true faces

Its always quiet and all the chaos cannot come in here

and there is no where to go outside

The energies are of love laughter togetherness

It is the place where I love most to be alone.