Tag Archives: Self help

Developing GRIT

Grit is the indomitable spirit in us. It’s the never say die attitude, never giving up and bouncing back
still higher, each time you hit rock bottom.

It is generating ideas at the speed of thought in face of extreme adversity. It’s what makes you ” hard” like a New Yorker or closer home a true
blue Mumbaite.

It is spinning magic or at-least doing some kind of “Jugaad”. It’s the difference between the spirit of a pet dog and the street dog.

Well, I just realised I lack in the GRIT department? So developing GRIT.

Love yourself part duex

In continuation to yesterdays post, one friend remarked that loving
yourself is accepting and loving yourself for who you are, as you are
( whatever that may be) Now this is where it becomes miserable? Isn’t it?

If I need to accept myself for what Iam? What I am is the key
question? What am I? Pls, how do i find this, so I can accept and
respect and love myself. I am a unique and weird person, there is no one like me, and there is
no one who is going to be like me till I am alive is what I think!!!

I guess, respecting the fact that you are unique and don’t fit in is
kind of very difficult, all our(my) efforts are to fit in the society.
Yet your mind screams you are so different!!!’ I want to emulate the successful neighbor who vacations abroad every year.

At the same the other part of me, hates the idea of vacations, I feel
with so many poor people whatever excess money one has, one should
distribute it. So am I what I think i am? if my idea of what I am is constantly
changing, does this mean I have to fall in love with myself every
moment to moment to love myself?

I know the discussion has taken a different turn, till yesterday it
was all about how to please yourself, or do what makes u happy, that
was easier, but today it is about loving yourself for what you are?
And nobody here knows what or who they are? There needs to be a simple explanation?

What does “Love yourself” mean to you.

All the spiritual masters or self-help books will repeat the same
thing. That “love yourself” than you can love others. I want to make a confession, I really don’t know how to love myself. Do you?

But I am determined to “love myself”, I even broke off with my
girlfriend of 5 years last week, saying that I don’t love you, I only
love myself!! So loving oneself can mean a lot of things.

To begin with I took the literal meaning that loving myself means
“self gratification” or “masturbation”, but after loving myself for 15 
times in a day, it sure didn’t feel right. Loving yourself is surely about pampering oneself, I think i do that
all the time, i work from home, I watch 2 movies a day(not everyday),
I buy e-books and audio books, I subscribe to some awesome music
services. But this kind of pampering has become more of a necessity
than luxury.

So i guess “loving yourself ” is doing whatever makes you feel good,
and this can change as per your needs? But need is a bad word right?
Err… Other theories!

Sometimes loving oneself is helping others, doing something for the
community, seeing a smile on someone’s face. Helping a friend to take
care of his troubled business venture. Visitng the insecure aunt.
Helping someone who can’t fend for themselves. Solve a problem and etc
etc. What One can do is question oneself “are you doing whatever you are
doing, is it out of insecurity or lack? Is it out of greed or need? (i
hate the word need) (replace with desire)

Or is it out of the pure joy of doing something and feeling great
about what your thoughts, words, actions bring about. Any insights into how to “love yourself or oneself” will be highly appreciated.

how to become Charismatic

I often wonder what makes a person charismatic. Is a person born charismatic? I would say yes to a point good genes do matter, if you are handsome good looking plus brains (which also is sign of good genes).But on the other hand one can find beautiful, handsome people who are not charismatic. So what are the essentials qualities for being charismatic? Being a good orator is definitely a must have, being kind and compassionate is very essential quality. Besides having complete understanding of the mysteries of life, one needs to back these up with good analytical and scientific skills too. Then the world is at your feet!

Charisma actually means holding the attention of a person/group/crowd/mob, which focuses all their attention/energy on you and nobody else. This can be possible if you have the above mentioned traits. But if you lack these superlative qualities, never mind you can be still be Charismatic. Let me tell you how?

*Before this let me clarify, I haven’t done any big deal research on this, nor am I a charismatic person. But yes I am aspiring to be one.

Ok so you want to be a Charismatic person?? Follow these steps.

·         Never let a discussion or an argument go against you, if you cannot intellectually argue about this, use guerilla tactics like diverting the topic by unsettling the person who is winning the argument by hitting on the Achilles heel of the person. For this, one has to be very hardworking, you should have your research done, you should know what can unsettle the person. If there is no opposition to you, you are going to be the undisputed king, and will have everyone’s attention.

·         Make sure you have your bunch of cronies wherever you might want to show off your Charisma. These are the people who will amplify your jokes, clap whenever needed, divert any doubts in the mind of the doubtful thomas’s.

· You don’t have any orator skills, and haven’t read a frickin book in your life. You don’t have to worry. Whenever you are in a spot, and have been asked to speak, you can rattle off some quotes by Confucius or Nietzsche. You don’t even have to learn it, all you have to do is store these things as sms in your mobile phones, and if some idiot ask you explain those, you can just give an monalisa smile.

·         The last thing is compassion & kindness, this is the toughest one to recreate and all your act can fall apart. But I have solution for this also. When you have your chance to shine and show your charisma, this is the time you should disengage your mind of the fruits of the charismatic effect you are going to reap, this can make you look very kind and compassionate and selfless.

You should also inform all family member and close friends, that they should never advise you or scold you in public. the worst thing could be you mom telling you to take care of your upset stomach or your elder brother/sister advising you to invest wisely, or your wife mocking at you in fornt of her friends.You are the Mr. Know it all.

 

Finally the charisma needs to be sustained, a few pointers on that

·         Remain as mysterious as possible among your target worshippers, never let them know, why you cry at night, or how you lack confidence and always doubt your skill and ability.

·         Spread rumours about yourself which can make people envy you. This can be about your underworld connections, your numerous sexual exploits. The weirder the better! Keep feeding the rumors, this has to be consistent.

·         It can be a PR nightmare if a loser looking picture of you should land up on social networks like facebook or twiiter. Shoot a portfolio and digitally alter it with celebs, or a few vacations in exotic looking locations think (cuba,brazil) with women who don’t have the same skin color.

·         Remember if you can fake it, you can make it. So at no point you should sound or look like broke, and if by some chance you can’t show the money, you can always claim to be an activist, whose super rich dad has disowned you.

Ok I guess Im all done, all the best!